This post really doesn’t require a lot of introduction. This is just a simple plea to the world to let these poor, overused typefaces go home and have a nice long rest. Maybe in a couple of decades they can come back and do cameo appearances on prime-time sitcoms, but for now I think retirement is in order.
1. Papyrus
Oh, Papyrus. Probably the worst offenders. I can’t see this typeface without thinking of framed Buddha quotes hung on the wall by middle-aged yuppies who drive their giant SUVs to yoga class three times a week. Here’s a simple game you can play with your friends: get a lot of booze, wander around town looking at signs, posters etc. Take a drink every time you see Papyrus. Last person to die of alcohol poisoning wins.
2. Scriptina
Got a real estate agent or luxury housing development that needs a logo? Here’s how to make them happy: write their first name in Scriptina and their last name in a sans-serif font, then charge them $2000 for your hard work. If only all design was this easy.
3. Bradley Hand
I think of Bradley Hand as the comb-over of the typeface world. Used by people trying to hide the fact that they are using a font, it desperately tries to look realistic and natural, but fails miserably. If you must use a handwritten font, at least pick a better one, but my vote is either embrace the fact that you’re using a font, or actually handwrite it.
4. Brush Script
If Bradley Hand is the comb-over of typefaces, then Brush Script is the artificial wood grain. It’s often used to try to make something look classy, but usually makes it look cheap instead. It also, for some odd reason, makes me think of cheesy game show hosts with over-whitened teeth.
5. Comic Sans
Now, I almost feel guilty putting comic sans on here. Not because it isn’t over used – it definitely is – but because it’s really been the butt of a lot of typography jokes lately. I don’t want to bully it around too much more, so I’ll just say to all those people who think it’s ok to make this their default email font: it’s not. It’s really, really not.
6. Edwardian Script
Ah, yes, the plastic rhinestone of the type world. I can think of two places where Edwardian Script is an acceptable font choice: wedding invitations, and funeral programs. On any other occasion it’s just tacky.
7. Curlz
Here’s a quick check list to see if Curlz is the right font for your project: Is your target audience 6-year-old girls? Does your project involve Oompa-Loompas in any way? Are you trying to hypnotize your audience? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions we may have a winner!
This is hilarious. I particularly like the part about Bradley Hand being the comb-over of the type world. Priceless.
Awesome message, I truly count on updates from you.
hahaha, this is GREAT! So glad someone else feels the same about Papyrus that I do.
Oh, man. I’m totally going to play that Papyrus drinking game!
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oh scriptina. just oh.
HAH! this article could easily be named “7 fonts that let you know it WASN’T done by a professional”